Reunion

When I was in high school I had a wonderful teacher named Mr. Fine. He was a lovely man and had a flair for teaching history with a touch of romance. He brought alive the Renaissance period for me like no other and introduced me to Franco Zeferelli's Romeo and Juliet and the beautiful film Brother Son Sister Moon and I became a lifelong admirer of St. Francis of Assisi as a result.

Well, as it turns out, I was not the only fan of Mr.Fine and when I innocently suggested a gathering of former students it turned into a end of summer soiree hosted by the lovely Marion and Mr. Fine (I still find it hard to call him Robert) So much food and drink and great company, not to mention an amazing skyline!

My friend Beth came all the way from Pennsylvania with her lovely husband, my old friends Lisa and Mark Gabourie came much to my delight. Heather Cameron came of course and my steadfast pal Alan MacDonald arrived with his pretty girlfriend. Kelly MacGillis Richards came, as did Frank Kakouras and my new friend Jodhi Ananmalays. Regrets were sent by my brother Gregg and Debbie, Christine Rogers, Valerie Gierman, Celestine Hunter, Melissa Annan, Menis Schwill and Kerry Milford.

What an amazing time we all had. Mr. Fine was in fine form and I met many relatives and friends of his. It occured to me that there are not many former students who can gather some thirty some years later and reminise and laugh and share amazing lessons taught by Mr. Fine, who I learned won the Governor General's Award for Teaching. Well done Mr. Fine!

On a personal note health problems have slowed me down somewhat and I was so happy to be reuinited with old friends. Also, in high school I was absent often with health issues and so, I have a special affinity for friends who remember me and all my antics. Did you know I was there when someone who shall remain nameless dropped her cigarette on a paper towel and Mrs. Hagerman came in and doused me with fire repellent? Uh huh. That was me.

After I went home, I listened to a favourite tune of mine. Bookends, by Simon and Garfunkel.

"Time it was, and what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph
Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you"

Thanks for helping me recall and preserve some wonderful, touching memories Mr. Fine and all th alumni of Ajax High School.

Linda Grace XXOO

Life Goes On

Four months ago today we lost our beloved Gran, our Queen Mum. Eva Forster Peckover passed away in her sleep at age 96.

I wrote her euglogy and can say in all honesty it was the most difficult piece I have ever written. To sum up 96 years for a 20 minute speech kept me up night after night.

Memories came flooding back. Time moved slowly as my mind tried to express itself through my grief and numbness. The reality of losing her, is only just hitting me. And, as is always the case, it is the little things I miss the most. I miss her cheeky smile, her loud pronouncements of evildoers in the neighbourhood (parking in front of her apartment is one example - they blocked her view of the neighbours comings and goings). I miss her declarations of what made a good cup of tea. I miss her slipping my Yorkie, Reese, roast beef as the pup sat patiently waiting under the dining room table. I miss leaning down to kiss her goodbye.

They say grief is a natural extension of loving someone. You don't grieve for someone you did not love. I loved my Gran very, very much and will miss her everyday for the rest of my life.

I have found the summer has numbly passed me by. Samuel is 15 now and spending a lot of time with his buddies. Caitlin is settling into her new life as a young single woman living on her own. Mum is adjusting to living without Gran.

We recently watched in horror at the ugly riots that seemed to envelop all of England. As everyone did, I wondered what drove these primarily young people to such mindless acts of violence. I read all the columns and absorbed thoughts such as "lost generation", "disenfranchised youth", "bad parenting." After absorbing these thoughts and forming a few of my own, i wondered what my Gran would have said. Well. Her thoughts would no doubt have been harsh, biting and bang on. She would have declared them "hooligans", "layabouts", and "in need of a good kick up the ass!" I also think she would have been totally perplexed at people burning their own neighbours homes and businesses down to the ground. Kids turning on their own neighbours would have been the ultimate shame of the sordid affair in Gran's mind. Her memories of England were of a nation that came together in difficult times, helped their neighbours as she certainly did time and time again.

The English are known for their stiff upper lip. Indeed, my mother represents that stereotype fully. She is loving and kind, but can be standoffish and doesn't cry easily.

During the riots, Caitlin noted that she had only seen her Nana cry three times. The first when my Dad died, the second when Andre Agassi retired from tennis and the third, when she watched her hometown of Croydon going up in flames, as though she were reliving the Blitz. Of course, she wasn't just crying for Croydon. She was crying for her Mum.

My two wonderful nephews Mitchell and Desmond are touring Europe at the moment and by all accounts indulging in German beer and late nights. They are safe, happy and having the time of their lives. As Gran would have said, they are "making memories."

Linda Grace

A New Year, A New Day

This is the time of year when most of us reflect on what has gone before us in 2010. I feel the need to write and reflect. While still struggling with my health, I have had some insightful, life changing moments.

My children continue to grow which I wish they would stop doing. My daughter has moved into her own nest with her boyfriend and going through all the adjustments that brings. She is doing very well at her job and flying across Canada on business trips. She is a strong girl with a good sense of herself and what she wants. My son is now 15 and going through many changes, with a great sense of humour and sensitivity for the most part. He is smart and at that age where he's trying to figure out this puzzle of a world and where his piece of the puzzle fits.

My 95 year old Gran is still with us but has deteriorated mentally and that is a sadness for us all. Recently, and for the first time, she did not know who I was. It seems her first grandchild was the last one she forgot albeit just for a little while.

Mum continues to care for Gran in our British family tradition of never putting a relative in a nursing home. She struggles daily but her devotion to Gran is inspiring and heartwarming. She sacrifices everyday to keep her at home. My goal this year is to get some daily respite for her, despite her protestations.

Friends continue to support me despite my limitations and their unwavering support and love keeps me going. From Melissa driving me to downtown Doctor appointments, to Mary-Alice ferrying my son to school when I was unable to and Bev who loves my son as though he was her own. Some friends have the ability to make me laugh and forget the bad stuff. Menis comes to mind. Her memories of life in LA (Lower Ajax) bring me to my knees.

This year I moved from a three bedroom apartment to a two bedroom townhouse. I had been ill a month prior to the move and as luck would have it landed in hospital on moving day. I can't say enough about my dear friend Pedro and all the help he gave me. My Mum called him and he immediately dropped everything and drove two hours to visit me in hospital and then got busy moving me with Melissa, my Mum, and friend Linda. Melissa's son Nash who is studying four days a week at our local hospital, was there to hold my hand and calm me down as I fretted about putting people out.

Pedro taught me a great deal about selflessness this year. Pedro helps because he wants to and he gets a great deal of personal satisfaction out of helping in times of need - unconditionally. After the move, he drove me around as we bought things for the new place and he lifted furniture, hung pictures and built Sam a "man cave" in the basement that Sam has thoroughly enjoyed. My dear friend was also there when I had a close call medically and immediately took charge of the situation when I could not have. I am grateful and thankful that Pedro is in my world.

This year also saw some losses. A few friends lost a parent and we had to acknowledge that we are entering that phase of life. My close friend Norman lost his wonderful Mom Claudette in late November and that was a sad loss for all of us who knew the Lebrun family in LA.

I have had an interesting eventful year. When I think back over the year, family and friends were my main focus. My writing has been slow in finding its way back into my heart and fingers. But today is a new day and my goal is to get back to writing my blog for myself, family and for my friends. I thank you all for your support and encouragement of my writing. One day a friend said, "Just Do It". Well, it took a long time to find the courage to "Just Do It", but here I am at 2:00 am...doing it!

This feels good...like I discovered the right musical note again. This year I hope to write more, dig deeper, find the humour in most everything and count my many blessings. I wish you all a year filled with love, peace and balance. More than ever, with all our cell phones, Ipods and Blackberrys it is important to give yourself moments of quiet contemplation. 2011 - Bring it on!!

Romeo and Juliet

Recently, I was having dinner with a couple whose son is in my son's English class. The boys are reading Romeo and Juliet. As a lover of some of Shakespeare's work, I was taken aback by some of their comments. Now, these boys are 14 and not particularly into "romance". Frankly, their idea of romance is letting a dirty sock hang around as long as it can before being snatched from them cruelly but necessarily, to have the stink blown off. The love goes deep.

I was however, shocked when I asked my son what he thought of the novel Romeo and Juliet. In his usual considered fashion, (about the time it takes to blink) he said "It sucked". I must have looked like I'D been poisoned. "No, Mom, you don't get it...it was "STUPID."

Then his friend joined in and pointed out the stupid points of language to us unenlightened parents who looked at each other bemused. "Nobody would talk like that today," one boy said. "It would take half an hour just to say hello!" I can see his point. That would clearly move in on his xbox time.

Other than the feud between the Montague and Capulet's, the boys seemed unable or perhaps unwilling to study the novel from the perspective of a different time. When I was 14, I loved picking up a good book and feeling like I was transported to a diffent time and place. I know my son enjoys that too, but clearly, not by reading Romeo and Juliet.

Perhaps the novel should be introduced later when boys are around 17. Or, God forbid, perhaps Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet has had its day in the Ontario English curriculum. In my house, reading it was a painful, colossol waste of time and my patience.

I just bought "The Old Man and the Sea" by Ernest Hemingway. I bought the book and the audio version so I can torture him in the car and read the novel at my leisure, quietly in bed, with Reese of course. I'm trying to teach her to turn pages with her paw. If I achieve this, I will take pictures lol Cheers,

Linda Grace

Isn't She Lovely

On March 20, 2010 my Gran celebrated her 95th birthday. Eva May Forster was born in 1915, at home in Northern England in a place called Sunderland, County Durham. She was named after Aunty Eva who lived with the family of Forsters.

The year she was born, the Allies were at war with Germany in the first World War, or the Great War as it came to be known. The sitting Monarch was King George V and the Prime Minister was H.H. Asquith, Liberal and coalition.

By 1915 the first World War had been raging for over a year, and most of Europe was now involved.

Gran's mother's name was Mary Jane Liddell. She was also born in Sunderland. She was an only child. Her mam and dad were care takers at a local school and lived in a house on the grounds. Being an only child, Mary Jane never went out to work, her job was to help her mother keep the school clean. Her mam died at just 40 years old on April 21st, 1927 after having nine children.

Gran's father's name was James Forster, also from Sunderland. Great Grandad Forster was a coal miner for 34 years at Monkwear Mouth Colliery.

He was a territorial soldier in World War II eventually becoming a Sergeant Major. He was away in the war for four years and spent most of his time fighting in France.

Gran remembers him as a very humorous man but quite strict in his ways. He was a good singer and also was quite good at tap dancing. He was also a very good overall dancer. With my late Uncle Jimmy a virtual one man band with instruments tied all over himself, and Grandad Forster dancing and the girls singing and clapping along, it was despite the terrible hardships, a jovial loving family.

Gran came from a large family. She had three brothers, Edward (Ted), born Feb 29th, George born Aug 3rd, 1911, Jimmy born in 1922. Gran also had five sisters, Doris, Mary, Hetty Edie and Edna. Gran's mother Mary Jane Forster died of starvation trying to feed Edna. She lay under the stairs for five days before burial as was the custom.

Gran shared close quarters with her sisters. There was one room for the girls and one bunk bed. Two slept on top and three slept on the bottom. She did not have a special toy or blanket because there was no money for those things. They were lucky to have bed clothes at all. The toilet was behind the house, outside.

Gran and her siblings lived in a small miner's house with the rest of my family. There was one big living room, two bedrooms, in a very friendly neighbourhood where you watched out for each and help when you could. Nobody had anything so it was hard. The houses were terraced with no running water indoors. The tap was down the back yard. No bathroom inside and once a week we all got bathed in front of the coal lit fire in a big tub...youngest to oldest and finally, the dog. We were all clean and happy. And I complain that I've never had an ensuite bathroom. Her memories put it all in perspective...the greed and frivolous comforts we have come to expect.

Many of my Gran's memories surround Church. She attended Sunday school every Sunday afternoon in a primitive Methodist Chapel for two hours. There were, if it was peaceful, Church Concerts which she enjoyed very much.

Gran says they all dressed up "posh" for Good Friday Services. All the Chapels met in the town square, sang lots of hymns then walked back to the individual Chapels where the children received an orange.

At Easter, they boiled eggs, one commodity not lacking. Everyone had chickens. They coloured the eggs and then took them to a place called Tunotell Hill and we used to roll our eggs down the Hill. She said they had great fun on those occasions!

Gran said the way they celebrated Thanksgiving was to take food and vegetables to the Chapel. There was a nice service and then all the food was given to the Salvation Army and distributed to the needy, of course, her family was one. To this day, she is an avid supporter of the Salvation Army.

Christmas was another example of doing what you can with what little you have. Gran told me they always hung up their stockings over the fire place and they were filled with one apple, one orange, a few nuts and a bright new penny. We only had one gift at Christmas and it was generally clothing.

Gran looked a little sad as she recalled that the children never had any money, so making or buying a gift for their parents was not an option.

As I mentioned, Gran had no special doll because there was no money for that sort of thing. But I suspect she was a bit of a tom boy in her and she loved to compete with boys. They played in the street with skippings ropes and spinning tops.


Grans' favourite place to enjoy herself was the Leachouse and says they were "lucky to have lived by the rocky Northern coast."

Interestingly, Granny does not ever remember having a big snow storm...no snow at all. No ice skating or sledding, because there was no snow!

Granny Falls in Love

Gran was almost sixteen when she first met my grandfather, a big tall handsome man with the biggest hands, named Ernest Peckover. She loved everything about him. Their love was simple. Cycling to the coast, long walks on the beaches. Thankfully Grandad Forster approved of Ernie and thought he was a great man. He was right. Now this is where the southern part of my family joins the northern part.

Gran's maternal grandmother was named Hetty Forster of which she has few memories. She was a very stout lady and lived to be in her seventies. She had two boys and two girls.

Gran knows little about her paternal grandfather except that he was a sea man.

Gran remembers being very poor and there was never any money for crafts for school projects. She loved school however and did well. She was taught to sew and knit at school and excelled at both, often making my clothes as a youngster.

Gran went to an elementary school named Thomas Street School until she was eleven years old and then she sat the exams and passed for the Grammar school in 1927, making her father very proud of her achievement. He bought her a real leather school satchel that she treasured. Her favourite subjects included History, Geography and Elocution. She also enjoyed all sports. Take note: There were 54 pupils under one teacher. She wore a uniform that was Green and Yellow and a gym uniform that was a navy blue tunic with a navy blouse with white shoes.

During this time, the war was gaining momentum and times were filled with uncertainty. However Gran recalls with such innocence, her friendships as a child.

"I had maybe two special friends, we used to go to the swimming baths, one movie per week if my Dad had a penny to spare. We played field hockey every Saturday morning. It was all fine.

It is remarkable to me that at a time when Zeppelins raided London for the first time and chaos reigned in southern England, her memories are sweet and childlike.

Gran enjoyed cycling, and she often cycled to Brighten over night, 42 miles, slept under the pier for a few hours and then cycled up to London to Hyde Park and out into the country at Blue Bell time. They always made a stop in the Country for the Chapel Lad Races. She always won!

She says she never went camping because she hated all the "creepy crawlers." Well, at least my daughter came by that fear honestly.


However tragedy did hit the family on June 10, 1956. Brother Jimmy, a paratrooper and Sergeant Major as was his father, was shot down by his own men in a terrible accident in Cyprus. He was just 34 years of age. My Gran adored her older brother and the whole family was deeply shaken by his loss.

My Gran is a fabulous cook and her sausage rolls are a favourite with everyone who visits. She also makes a delicious old fashioned rice pudding that was my favourite.

But as a young girl, she didn't do much of the cooking. Her older sisters took care of that and Gran did the cleaning (I expect this was because she was so factedious even then)

Her responsibilities including laying out her Dad's Pit clothes for his job in the mines and to fill his pit bottle with water for him to drink.

Gran says her mother had no choice but to be a great cook because she had nine children to feed. They survived on stews and meat pies when meat was available and affordable and always a roast on a Sunday with yorkshire puddings and gravy, a tradition we still carry on in the family. A "joint" (roast) can go a long way she used to tell me.

At 95, she is still going strong. She's hard of hearing and suffering from dementia, but she's still with us at times and shares memories and laughs as always. I am so blessed to have her still with us to remind us of how far we have come from her poverty stricken childhood.

When a Friend Lets You Down

Focus,not on the rudenesses of others,
not on what they've done or left undone,
but on what you have & haven't done yourself.
-Dhammapada


It feels good to be back again. I had a health setback followed by a period of insecurity when I wasn't sure I had anything of interest to say anymore.

However, "life" changed that. After digesting a recent disappointment, I took the time to really "think" about what happened, my choices, and accepting that I was wrong about someone I deeply cared for....and not for the first time in my life. After much reflection I determined that looking after yourself emotionally is not selfish...it is essential. We must always be mindful of our hearts and minds. They are worth protecting. If it means letting go of a relationship that is causing you grief, then that is what you have to do. Of course, there are always diplomatic ways to do this..the intent is not to create unnecessary pain in someone but to move away and on to a place that is good and right for you. I have a few select friends who are true, kind and understanding. Those are the relationships I choose to focus on now.

I must make a clarification about an earlier post. I was writing about my boring name "Linda". I have always been disappointed that my parents named me after a character on the Danny Thomas Show. I felt I deserved better. Having said that I am very grateful I was not called "Paris" or "Hunter". I"ve been to Paris, but I'm not a Hunter.

My friend, man of Spanish origins recently enlightened me about my name. "Linda" or "Leenda" as I now refer to myself when speaking to him is actually a Spanish girls name and means "Beautiful". It is derived from the the "Melinda" roots, though the English use Linda the most.

"Linda" is a feminine-gender word in Spanish and my friend Pedro tells me that it means several things but is frequently used as an adjective meaning "pretty" or "lovely". If it refers to a moment in time, then it means "marvelous". If is used with singing and dancing then it means something "done beautifully" or "Baila lindo". How great is THAT?? I also learned that "Linda" was a popular song sung by Jack Lawrence in 1946. Lawrence named the song after a little five year old girl named Linda who great up to be Linda Eastman McCartney! Thank you for enlightening me Pedro. From now on when I do something beautifully,I will say "BAILA LINDO!"

Buddhists have a wonderful saying: "Life goes by quickly, therefore go slowly." This morning I woke up, had my cup of tea and read the news. Now I am a big news hound - I come by it honestly as a former journalist. I have a very busy mind and am very curious about the world. However, I have learned that to keep my mind still I must tune out the news. Not all the time, to be sure. I could never do that because I am so interested in our world. There are times however, when I am reading about catastrophic events like the Gulf Oil spill, political mess ups and G8 and G20 summits with obscene amounts of money being thrown their way, that I have to turn it off.

If I lived in Louisiana, I would be there on those beaches, cleaning up and helping those poor pelicans and turtles. But it is not possible and I feel an overwhelming sense of helplessness when I read and view the images. It again goes back to taking care of your emotional self. I can't change the world, but I can write about it and take a break to reflect if I need to. That's okay and probably makes for better writing and a better understanding of the issues.

Sadly, I have had to give up riding my horse. Blackie was put out to pasture and I had just started riding a beautiful huge reddish coloured mare when I took ill...it may have been allergy related, triggered by the hay, mites on the horses, etc. So I have been advised to stay away from horseback riding...the occasional trail ride is okay but not the day to day. I drove to the stable recently and had a quick visit with the horses. They were outside and enjoying each other's company. The herd was running together with not a care in the world. I'm grateful for having tried to ride again and enjoying it as much as I did. It felt really good to ride and be able to take loving control of an animal so large and intimidating. I will continue to visit.

I had made a bucket list of things that I wanted to experience, so I will go back to the list and look for another adventure. Feel free to make suggestions! Rock climbing anyone?

Kind Regards,
Leeenda Grace!

It's My Birthday

Today is the day I was born.  April 10, 1961 at around four in the morning.  My Mum doesn't remember.  She was asleep.  The miracle of birth was not lost on me when I had my two children.  When I held my first child, I remember feeling under pressure to pick the "right" name.  Nothing too fru fru.  No, it had to be strong.  Afterall, she might grow up and run a company some time and "Bunny" would be an odd name for a CEO to carry.  "Hi, I'm Bunny so and so...what's the bottom line Harry."  Plus I was very aware that I had no great story to tell about how I was named.  Well, my middle name is in tribute to my lovely Aunty Grace who has now passed, so that was nice.

No, my parents tossed around Jacqueline...very nice...but they felt Jacqueline would be too popular because of Jackie Kennedy.  Truth be told I never had a Jacqueline in any school class...ever.  So, as the due date loomed, Mum and Dad were watching a fuzzy television show...The Danny Thomas Show.  And there you have it.  I was named after the character "Linda." It is not a noble name.  It is a boring name and from my research,  only one love song has been written about a "Linda" and it's in French.  What good is that?  I can barely speak French.

When I was about 11 years old, I wrote in my diary that I would have preferred to be called "Serenity Jane." In fact, I wrote that should I ever have a daughter, that would be her name.  Luckily for Caitlin I had forgotten about it at the time of her birth, due to the drugs I think.  It was a toss up between Annabelle, Paige or Caitlin.  I think she's happy with our choice.  So, no exciting story about my name.

However, my birth date does reveal some interesting events.  For example:

• On April 10, 1912 the Titanic set sail.  It was a short trip.  Hmm.  For those of you who know me this was indeed an omen even though it happened 49 years before my birth. 
• Adolph Eichmann was tried as a war ciminal in Israel on my birthday.
• On April 10, 1998 negotiators from various factions signed the Good Friday Agreement, a plan for peace in Northern Ireland.  That was good since I am a pacifist, conflicted as I am as I eat my steak.
• Wayne Gretzky scores NHL record 93rd playoff goal.  Of course he did, he's the great one!
• In 1989 H.J. Heinz, Van Camp Seafood and Bumble Bee Seafood said they would not buy tuna caught in nets that also trap dolphins.  That was good. I like dolphins. 
• On April 10, 1986 Benazir Bhutto returned to Pakistant, in retrospect probably not the best idea.
• On April 10, 1955 Dr. Jonas Salk successfully tests the Polio vaccine.  Pretty impressive.
• On April 10 1945 Allies liberate the 1st Nazi concentration camp, Buchenwald, Czechosolvakia.  On the same day, Canadian troops conquer Deventer.  Wow!
• On April 10, 1877 the first human cannonball act was performed in London...a defining moment in this important sporting event.

Some notable people died on April 10.  They include:

• Sam Kinnison, 1992...the most annoying moronic comic ever to terrorize an audience....a preacher no less.
• Evelyn Waugh, the English Author who wrote "Brideshead Revisited" a strange tale of love, sex pretense and people with nothing much to do.  He died in 1966. Loved that book!  I aspired to that life of priviledge however, I ended up being born into a working class suburb with no castles, men with ascots or houses with wall to wall libraries.  We had a Legion.
• Wilma Flintstone aka Jean Vander Pyl died on my birthday in 1999.  She also did the voice of Pebbles.  I loved Pebbles.  I had a Flintstones lunch box too.  My favourite episode was when Ann Margrock came to town to do a show.  Great singer that Ann Margrock. "I aint gonna be your fool no more...cried and cried until my eyes were sore."  LOVED HER!
• Charles Patton died in 1970.  George C Scott played him in a movie.  It was pretty good.
• Stuart Sutcliffe (former Beatles bassist) died in April 10, 1962.  Sad one, that is.
• And finally, Louis II, (the stutterer), King of France from 877 - 79 died. How does a guy with a speach impediment speak to his people? Oh.  Perhaps that was the point.  He didn't.

So, there you have it.  Great moments in history on my birthday, April 10, 1961.  It could have been worse.  I could have been born on the day the Titanic sank...now that would have been troubling!

Linda Grace