The first time...

...ever I saw your face? No. Well, maybe, because I feel like my friends are going to see my face for the first time in some respects.

Before I begin, I want to thank a few people who have sat back patiently and waited...a very long time for me to do something with my writing. This is my start. I want to thank my children who I hope I never embarrass or reveal too much.

I want to remember my late Dad, Robert Campbell Cousins who always believed I was an artist, encouraged my writing and worshiped me. How lucky was I? I miss him every minute of every day. My mother who is always there for me even when I don't want her to be, my 93 year old Granny who continues to inspire me, my brothers who are a big part of who I am, my non-blood sister, Melissa who loves me no matter what...she believes in me and it helps more than she'll ever know. My friends Clement and Jim, Mary, Bev, Gab and Mike, Mary Alice and Marce. You have all supported me, laughed with me and at me (that's okay!) and stayed the course. Please don't be offended if I haven't named you. You know who you are.

I want to say a very special thanks to Dr. Piyal Walpola and his wife Indie for introducing me to a new way of looking at my life through Buddhist teachings. It is a hard and difficult journey, but I am so very grateful for their friendship and guidance and for Dr. Walpola's special care.

So...where to begin? My life was born into drama and seems to have followed that course. I was a blue baby, struggled for my first breath, was born Asthmatic and that first struggle for life seems to have become a metaphor, albeit unwanted. I'm changing that pattern. Slowly, deliberately and with a wavering confidence that has also been my pattern.

The one thing I have known, from a very young age, is that I'm a writer. I simply love to write and I love words. If I don't write...I feel all is not well in this world. I learned as a very young age the power of words. I was a sick child....kids were cruel...very cruel. I learned that words can slice your skin like a sharp knife and leave a scar inside that does not heal.

Sometimes, my words can be cutting, sharp and hurtful. I try to save them and modify them later, but that has not always been the case. Words are the most powerful tool we have within us and I believe we have a responsibility to use them with care. I have not always been successful at that.

My words have also brought sentimental tears, comfort, humour and discussion. They are the words I'm most proud of.

Grace is my middle name. My mother fought to have it be my first name but she didn't win the fight. I think now, in my middle age, I am glad she didn't win. It takes years to find your "grace". I am only beginning to discover that.

There is nothing more "disgraceful" than losing your temper over nothing, arguing over something meaningless and leaving someone you love confused or hurt by your rantings. I have done that, and sadly, still do although not as frequently. Wendy has taught me to forgive myself and try to do better. That's all we can do. And I do try....to be the Grace I was born to be.

There is nothing more "graceful" than holding your baby for the first time, kissing away their tears, bathing them, dressing them, teaching them about higher powers so they understand "they" are not the world, offering up advice even when you know they aren't listening and finally, never letting them know how much you are truly suffering from burdens that are not for children's ears.

I hope I can share some of my insights, humour and observations of this crazy world that is mine and yours. I hope you will laugh with me and let me know when I'm "offside".

Here is to a new day!

My first thought is to tell you about my latest venture...well, truth be told, my only venture in about...oh, eleven years or so. I have taken up horseback riding. I met a lady named Rose who I believe can heal through horses. I have been going for three weeks now and learned some anatomy and how to communicate to a horse through touch and eye contact. She has chosen a 20 year old female horse named Blackie for me. Blackie is not an alpha. She leads by example not might. I took to her right away. This Wednesday, I will ride for the first time. I am excited and anxious but determined. I can do this. I will do this. Well, Blackie, Rose and I will do it together.

I can't wait for the day my kids and friends come to the Arena and see me ride and trot Blackie, with confidence and pride.

Thank you for reading my first Blog. Hopefully, it is not my last! Cheers and much love,

Linda Grace